Halloween, so much going on; pumpkin carving, parties, scary food and dress ups all around. All such good fun, but do we take part in it because everybody does, because we feel we miss out, or do we actually feel we want to celebrate and honor those that have left us? Are we scared to be judged or boring when we don’t?
I often hear from clients that they find it very hard to follow their own heart’s longings in life’s busy demands. In their quest to become more themselves and authentic, they have to be able to let go of life around them and of all demands on them for birthday’s, parties, social visits and any other ‘fun’ or work gatherings just to truly be able to connect with what they feel inside.
Sometimes that means to just let the outside world be, and to say ‘No’ to every invite or celebration that doesn’t fit. This can make us feel that we ‘miss out’ on all that’s going on around us. It can make us feel thorn and anxious when we don’t listen to our needs because we think we have to fit in with what the rest of the world is doing or wants from us. we may be critisized and it can make us feel that we stand alone.
Usually when we start connecting with the our real selves, life becomes our guide and shows us the steps. All we have to do is listen, accept and just follow those steps. Right? It sounds easy, and it is, but we are just not always that good in seeing or wanting to hear life’s answers.
Social demands can be very strong too. Clients describe that they can’t say ‘no’ because ‘they came to my birthday or party too’ or ‘I’m expected to be there’. There’s two ways of going about it: you either go, consciously deciding that that’s your choice. No buts, or secret grumpyness just the realisation that you are doing it for the other person and you are fully behind that decision. ( there’s really nothing wrong with this option, the fact is that most people go and do hold a grudge against themselves or against the others for maiking them go!) Second option is: you don’t and you let go of all the guilt surrounding your ‘no’.
Then there’s what also happens a lot: you deep down know what you need, and you know you should follow that, and you still try to go the other way… then life usually blocks your choosen path. You might try to go to a party but nobody wants to come with you. Or you might try to organize something but nobody can make it. When your heart isn’t in it, life responds and the minute you see it and accept it and folow it, it gives you peace.
All stress and pressures fall away effortlessly because you’ve done what you needed. Your whole body will respond with a tremendous release to doing what’s right for you. That’s how we learn, once we’ve experienced that, we know what to do a next time.
Sometimes what we want and what we need may differ and so we fight or press along. But our inner voice always knows best. So if you find yourself in the position of doing something that nobody else does, something that might be judged or misread or be labelled as boring, if you find yourself in the place of having to say ‘no’ and going against the world’s direction: then be brave, follow that gut instinct and know that it will bring you greater treasures and pleasures then what you’d find in a few missed parties, social gatherings or Halloween celebrations.
You’ll find your self, your fun, your peace, your passion and lifeforce and you’ll find tremendous happiness in that freedom. Autheticity is simple, free and incredibly rewarding. Find your authetic self, because it rocks to be that free.
Halloween blessings to you all,