If there is one thing I absolutely dread it’s the renewal of insurance policies. It looks like you get a really great offer but it always turns out to be priced without all the normal extras that you already had. In the end, the offer is no offer at all. On top of that, to find the best price, you have to spend ages on comparing companies and often lose track along the way because there are so many options to choose from…
As always, my heart and soul want to find a good spiritual twist to it. One I can use to make the things I dread into spiritual practice. Instead of seeing it as wasted time and energy, I practice my ‘spiritual muscle’ and grow stronger as a result. Though sometimes this does come with a rather unexpected turn of events…
On this particular day I called my car insurance company to ask them why my price had gone up by more than £250, instead of down. I should have gained another claim free year, and therefore pay much less than the old price, just like they had told me last year. I was speaking with a very nice lady, who couldn’t actually explain the reason for this. She talked in circles, not really answering my question… and suddenly, out of nowhere, I started to feel very angry. This to my own surprise. It’s not easy to get me angry. But I could feel she was talking to me without actually knowing the facts, and if there is anything that upsets me it is somebody trying to cover up their own in-experience and blaming me for it.
Now people that know me well, know that I am normally ‘Miss Peace’. I am always willing to find an answer that makes everybody happy, always willing to admit that I am wrong and I always try to look at the bigger picture, unless someone with more knowledge tells me otherwise… but not today. Today I embraced anger. Nobody at the insurance company could give a feasible explanation, the prices didn’t add up, nor did the discounts and they were rude too, so I hung up telling them I felt very angry and that they’d lost a very loyal customer.
I was steaming, something that hardly ever happens. I tried to meditate but all I could see was this vulcano erupting inside and it needed to come out FAST. My soul then gave me the image of a steam train being fired up, running faster and faster. Instantly this image made me see I could use this anger as fuel, fuel for change. I came out of my meditation still angry but feeling I could channel the anger and use it to focus for quick change…it made me feel really strong. I wanted to use this energy in a positive way. I decided to start with all the dreaded annual business ‘chores’ and I did them in less time then I had ever done them before. I never once got lost in the process and made positive choices that empowered me along the way.
By the time I was finished, my anger had vanished and all the work had been done, all the choices had been made and my desk was free of dreaded things. I felt super good. Instead of being disappointed in myself.. that I had gotten angry, I realised that anger can have a great harm free purpose when we take responsibility for it. Then we can channel it and use it as extra energy to do the things we find difficult.
I already knew that our hurt hides under every bit of anger, but once I transformed the anger, I sat down to see if there was anything else that needed my attention. And in that moment of silence and strength a great sadness did well up inside. A sadness for the way we seem to always have to fight for our rights. There is so much fighting going on, so much lying and cheating. It is so tiring and so unnecessary and it makes me intensely sad. I gave my tears their freedom and released what upset there was left. In doing so I once again found my reason for entering into a lifestyle that creates less war, inside AND outside.
Yet I did learn this valuable lesson again; all of our emotions are worthwhile and of use, and being in touch with the soul has a way of helping us use them in the best possible way. I thank my soul for finding me, and for guiding me daily and I thank the ladies from my old insurance company from the bottom of my heart. In your own way, you were my teachers and I honour you, but…. you’ll never see me back as a customer! (Hhhmm.. Maybe I should practice forgiveness next ? ;D)
ps. I did find another insurer and saved myself about 350 pounds a year… More ‘Fuel for Change’ coming up soon!!